Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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