Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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