I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
