in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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