she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
