Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
