Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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