i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
