i permit you to call me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
