when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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