haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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