If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
