what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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