Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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