Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need a beard to bite.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
