She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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