Banned from zoo.
Again?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
