Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
