Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
