your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
