I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
