pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
