anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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