Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
