I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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