would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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