Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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