I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
