Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
