He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
