With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
