whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
