oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
