I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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