That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize