I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
