he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
