U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
