theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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