Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize