They should really pass out barf bags in church
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
