I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so that wasnt chicken after all
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
