i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
