And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
