dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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