If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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