And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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