this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
