His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
