If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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