Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
