So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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