see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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