Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
