if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize