Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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