So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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