guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
