she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
