Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
