We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
