Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
