I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
