"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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