At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
