C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
too bad you live with your parents still
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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