I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
