I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
