Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize