I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
