You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
